Put the Big Stuff in First

A Ukrainian folktale called The Mitten relates the story of a lost mitten and a bear. The children in my class enjoyed this story, and they even turned it into a play. There are various versions of this story, and one goes something like this:

One day a bear takes a walk in the woods when it starts to snow. The bear can't get back to his cave before darkness falls. Fortunately the bear finds a mitten and crawls into the mitten to snuggle for the night.

In a few minutes the bear is disturbed by a fox asking to join him. The bear reluctantly lets the fox inside the mitten. Soon after, a goat asks to enter. Next comes a porcupine. A rabbit. A turtle. A mouse. All the animals manage to squeeze into the mitten and are drifting off to sleep when the voice of an ant enters the mitten. ''May I please come in from the cold?''

The animals in the cramped mitten look at the shivering ant and say, ''Come in.''

The ant crawls in. The mitten explodes, torn to pieces.

Stephen Covey on his The Eighth Habit DVD has a chapter called Big Rocks. During a workshop, Covey asks a participant to fit several rocks into a transparent tub already three-quarters filled with green pebbles. The big rocks represent the important activities in our lives--family, friends, work, vacations, education and more. After several minutes of diligent effort to get the rocks into the tub, Covey suggests looking at the problem in a different way and offers the use of a second tub. When the participant places the big rocks in the tub first and pours the pebbles in last, everything fits.

A mitten. A tub. A bear. Some rocks. If we put the big stuff, the activities that enrich our life the most, in first, somehow it will all fit, and we'll find space for little pleasantries also. When we do it right, it's not huge issues that cause our lives to go all to pieces; it's little ants that ruin our picnic, or pretty pebbles that fill up the bucket, leaving no room for vital tasks.

Put the big stuff in first. Determine what are the most important activities and tasks in your life, and base your decisions on these priorities. When we put the big rocks first, we find it easy to say ''yes'' to the important and ''no'' to the nonessential tasks that interrupt us.

When we put the big stuff first, we have opportunities to use our power of choice, clear principles and our innate intelligence to create our lives.

When we use our imaginations, even a bear can fit inside a lost mitten, and our lives in a bit of eternity.

Next week: Three Gifts from Birth

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

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©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Letting Children Learn from Mistakes

Warm summer days remind me of my first cooking experiences.

The summer I was six I longed to make cookies. The neighbor girl had an Easybake oven, and we made unsatisfying miniscule cakes from baby boxes. I yearned to cook real food from a recipe.

Dreaming of a fabulous from-scratch concoction I raided my mother's kitchen. In our playhouse kitchen, peanut butter, honey and raw oats alchemized into unbaked clumps. My playmates and younger sisters dutifully ate the uncooked cookies, trusting their older, but not wiser, chef. Even today, my sisters are wary of any cookies I bring to the table. ''You made these?'' they ask.

My mother took mercy on us all--on my sisters for being guileless guinea pigs; and on me for reading and sighing over the Betty Crocker cookbook.

Snickerdoodles. I wanted to make snickerdoodles. All by myself. I envisioned the smiling faces of my friends and family as we shared a warm cinnamon creation. Made by me. What a joyful moment is was when my mother finally said, ''Go. Go make snickerdoodles.''

Pulling the step stool to the counter I reached for the red-and-white-checked Betty Crocker cookbook, turning to the recipe's memorized page number. I read. I measured. I stirred. I rolled balls of dough in cinnamon sugar and placed them on the cookie sheets, which my mother placed in the oven for me.

The air filled with the aroma of success. I called my friends to come have a cookie. We sat on our patio and savored a mid-morning snack.

After lunch I served the last of the batch of cookies. What had been warm and chewy were now cold, hard and more like a deer lick than a cookie.

“How much salt did you put in the cookies?” Mom asked.

I reached into the drawer and pulled out the 1/4 measuring cup.

All Mom said was, “I think you might want to read the recipe again.”

1/4 teaspoon is different than 1/4 cup? Oops.

My error taught me more about cooking than being told about my mistake or watching from the sidelines. My mother gave me the freedom to do something I really wanted to do. She didn't try to control the process or the outcome. She let me experience my missteps as well as enjoy my success.

My mother understood that it is more important for children to do activities that that they are interested in, than to do things perfectly.

So what if you don't know a measuring cup from a measuring spoon? You'll learn.

Snickerdoodles

1 cup shortening

1 and 1/2 cups sugar

2 eggs

2 and 3/4 cups flour

2-teaspoons cream of tartar

1-teaspoon baking soda

1/4-teaspoon salt

Cinnamon sugar: 3 teaspoons sugar and 3 teaspoons cinnamon, mixed

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cream shortening and sugar. Blend in eggs. Stir in rest of ingredients (except cinnamon sugar) until well mixed. Roll into small balls, about the size of a walnut. Roll in cinnamon sugar. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Be careful not to overcook. Makes 4 to 5 dozen cookies.

Note: I recently made these using butter instead of shortening and only 3/4 cup sugar with delicious results.

Next week: Put the Big Stuff in First

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

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©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

And They Call It Veggie Love

When do we learn to love vegetables? For most of us, it is usually before the age of seven. During the first six years of life children are in a sensitive period of learning that involves refining the senses, which includes, of course, taste and smell.

Introduce new foods ten times. Presenting a variety of vegetables to the young child helps create a later preference for vegetables in the older child and adult. When introducing a new vegetable, we need to be patient. It takes about ten presentations of a dish for a child to learn to like it. When introducing a new vegetable, consider serving it two or three times a week for at least five weeks, in order for your child to gain an appreciation for the flavor. Remember, repetition and patience is needed when introducing new foods.

Be aware of food sensitivities. We need to be aware that the reason our children may be reluctant to try new foods could be due to an allergy or sensitivity. My four-year-old sister refused to eat anything with tomatoes in it. Spaghetti with red sauce produced a ringed-tailed hissy fit. Come to find out years later, my sister is highly allergic to tomatoes, along with other foods she refused to eat as a child. Be tuned in to the fact that your child's long-term refusal to eat a certain food may be the body's way of saying, ''No, this really isn't good for me.''

Kids prefer crunchy vegetables. Be careful not to overcook vegetables. Raw or lightly steamed are children's favorite vegetable presentation. Youngsters love to dip veggies in dressings or sauces. Ranch dressing is a perennial favorite. Try homemade yogurt or tofu-based dips flavored with soy sauce, wasabi, peanut butter or avocado. Try olive oil and balsamic vinegar as a dipping sauce. Black bean dip or hummus are tasty with slices of cucumber or zucchini. Veggies wrapped up with dressing in a tortilla make a healthy burrito.

Be a good example. If you want your children to eat more vegetables, set the standard by piling your plate high.

Give your children some hands-on experiences. Plant a garden, shop at a farmers market, go to a u-pick farm and let the kids help in the kitchen. A child-selected and hand-shucked roasted ear of corn with melted butter from the farmers market is sure to create epicurean excitement.

Use fun or off-limits serving dishes. Serve veggies or a salad as a first course in ice cream sundae or banana split dishes. Serve veggies with dip shrimp-cocktail style with ice in a long-stemmed glass. Have fun and be adventurous with your trips into veggie-ville.

Keep in mind this child-rearing paradox that applies to not just vegetables, but the most trying situations. When you think your children will never eat a vegetable again, suddenly that's all they want to do.

Next week: Letting Children Learn from Mistakes

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Declaring Independence

As the Fourth of July nears each year, I read the Declaration of Independence to remind me how life under a tyrant might be. This reading helps me appreciate how precious our Constitution and Bill of Rights are to my life.

Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, thought and wrote extensively on the issues surrounding what our founding fathers saw as ''unalienable rights'' that included but weren't limited to ''Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.''

Jefferson wrote, ''That government is best which governs the least because its people discipline themselves.''

As adults it is our job to be self-disciplined and help our children develop the inner strength to become independent. Our challenge is to help our children attain independence and not have to declare independence by rebelling. Inscriptions on the ancient Greek temple of Apollo at Delphi held two messages that speak to us across the ages: ''Nothing in excess'' and ''Know thyself.'' The Greeks understood that a good life free from tyranny took a group's individual self-discipline coupled with the self-awareness derived from this inner strength.

''The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government and should be our first object,'' Jefferson wrote.

Jefferson thought that the aim of government should be giving the greatest number of people possible the largest amount of freedom possible. Preserving individual freedoms through the will of people working together should form the basis of a governing system, with checks and balances coming into play to prevent tyranny. In terms of the development of the child, we might paraphrase Jefferson and say, ''The will of the child is the only legitimate foundation of a person and should be our first object.''

Jefferson thought it was easier to deal with more freedom than with restrictions. He penned these words: ''I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.''

When we err in giving our children too little freedom, we risk rebellion, aggressive behavior or the undermining of our efforts as our children struggle for independence. With unwarranted restrictions we put our children at risk for not being able to develop themselves to be individuals with unique gifts to give the world.

With too much freedom, we may put our children at risk of failure when the corresponding responsibilities for specific freedoms are not established. Again, it is through the development of self-discipline and the practice of using free will constructively that readies our children for true freedom and the attainment of independence.

It is the struggle against tyranny that may keep our children from attaining their own power. Tyranny is power held by a single individual who holds vast if not absolute power. The term ''tyrant'' connotes a harsh and cruel ruler whose self-interests supercede the rights of others. Our children may come across tyranny, in blatant or subtle forms, in their homes, in their schools, among their friends or in other activities.

In our efforts to exert control and preserve order we must be constantly vigilant to protect the rights of our children to pursue life, liberty and happiness, to help ensure that our children have opportunities to develop their potential.

Let us not be tyrants. Our job is to help our children attain independence through self-discipline and self-awareness. These are some of the qualities and responsibilities that lead to the freedom of an individual and the freedom of a country.

Next week: And They Call It Veggie Love

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing