Cloud Watching

Summer will officially begin today with the summer solstice. For kids, I believe in the words of the Nat King Cole song, ''Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.'' June, July and August should allow all of us time to luxuriate in some slow goofiness.

Summer is a period of tremendous physical growth for children. Many children can grow three or more inches in height during these three or four months, and they can add the pounds to go with the inches. It takes a lot of extra eating to put on a pound, as a pound of weight gain requires an additional 3,500 calories.

During this period of physical growth, the child needs a lot of fresh food, exercise and rest. During the summer it can appear that all kids want to do is sleep, play hard, eat, sleep and then do it all again.

We can observe physical growth easily enough and measure the increase with rulers and scales. Even though it may appear as if our children are doing nothing mentally productive during the summer, there is a lot of hidden intellectual growth occurring,

The time to be outdoors and chase bees, pick clover, dig lakes and make dams in the mud, have picnics or lie on a quilt and watch the clouds morph from giant bears to Abraham Lincoln, helps create mental connections that can only be made in an environment that is closer to boring than exciting.

As our children have the time to watch the clouds, a certain type of self-reliance emerges. The child is free to let his or her thoughts wander. With time to cloud watch instead of clock watch, our children have the opportunity to perhaps see their lives in a perspective not hemmed in by the demands of a daily routine.

Cloud watching is serious business and may not come intuitively to our children. We must model the ability to set back and savor the passage of time.

Take a picnic blanket, and head outdoors for a morning or afternoon of earnest cumulus, cirrus and stratus cloud viewing. (Be wary of chiggers, ticks and other unwanted visitors. Take sunscreen, hats and sunglasses.) Lie down in a grassy spot and look up at the trees. Watch, and then ask your children what kinds of things live in the trees. Can they see any animals in the tree? What else can they see? What sounds do they hear? What do they smell? Can they taste anything? What do they feel? What do the clouds make them think about?

Afterwards, either on your blanket or indoors, help your children write a sensory poem by asking the questions you asked outdoors. Invite them to illustrate their poems.

Here's a poem written by a five-year-old friend after a session of thoughtful cloud watching. Perhaps these words will help you see some of what's growing inside a mind during those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

Outside

I see the sky, the trees, a butterfly

I smell the grass

I hear the neighbor's lawnmower, the wind in the trees

I feel the wind in my hair

I taste the air in my mouth

I kiss a cloud

Next week: The Stressed-Out Child

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

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©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

A Thank-You to Fathers

During the time that the phrase ''real men don't eat quiche'' was heard everywhere, Roseanne Barr called out through the television screen with this line: ''A real man is one who can look a thirty-year mortgage in the eye, and not blink.''

In many ways, signing up for a thirty-year mortgage requires more commitment to a relationship than signing a marriage license, or signing up for fatherhood. Weddings, diapers and monthly payments may not look as exciting as a single buddy's Harley-Davidson, new high-performance sports car or season tickets to the game. A real man gazes fearlessly into the abyss, and commits.

A real man is involved and emotionally present in the lives of his children. A real man validates his relationships by giving his strength to protect and cherish his family. A real man comforts others in times of distress.

A real man realizes what battles he is fighting. He knows he has an adventure to live. He recognizes he has something beautiful to rescue and protect. His family shares this undertaking with him. Living, loving and sharing this journey affirm a real man's masculinity.

A real man knows that his wife is a partner, and not the adventure. When a man makes the mistake of thinking that a person is the adventure, his marriage, his family and his own life are placed at risk. A man knows his family is worth fighting for, and his wife is a partner on an daring campaign.

Theodore Herburgh, the former head of Notre Dame, said, ''The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.''

So, a man sees love as a call to action, a verb, rather than a feeling. He understands that to feel love or to be loved, one has to love. To feel good, a man must do good.

Here's to the men that have looked at the world and its responsibilities with courage, and held steadfast. In the end these men know that they have won the battle worth fighting, have had the adventure worth living and have rescued and protected the beauty of their lives.

To these men, we can only say one thing with the utmost love and respect:

Thank you, Dad.

Next week: Cloud Watching

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Asking Permission

For many of us it is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.

If you really want to do something, why risk being told ''no''? Why endure the hassle of trying to sell your point? Why listen to pessimists who say that what you want to do can't be done? Why take the time to see how your actions might impact others?

On one side of the permission spectrum are people who feel their personal freedoms and potential are restricted by seeking permission. On the other side are the people who take ownership or responsibility for a person, object or situation. A power struggle may ensue. Employee versus employer. Student versus teacher. Child versus parent.

The word permission comes from the Latin meaning ''to let go through.'' The term derives from a time when one needed written or verbal authorization from landowners or Caesar to act without being punished; for example permission to travel across someone's land or to transact business. Today civic permission continues with parking and building permits, as well as with legal contracts.

Rebellion, with an employee, student or child, begins when someone thinks permission should not be asked for something considered a fundamental right. When I was in elementary school and junior high, I thought it was ridiculous that students had to ask permission to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. What was next, asking permission to breathe?

As the adults in charge of a child's environment we need to be careful of when we require permission. With excessive regulation we create distrust and defiance in relationships with children. Some people refer to this as being micromanaged. On the other hand, by not giving adequate guidelines for action we provide weak leadership, creating feelings of insecurity and disrespect that destroy trust in a relationship.

Take time to consider activities children should be able to do without asking permission. Even a toddler needs a method to safely and independently get a drink of water, prepare a snack or play with certain toys.

Asking permission should be required of the younger child in terms of safety issues and learning to be considerate of others. Asking to go out to play is a safety issue. Requesting to be excused from the table is about teaching manners. ''May I please'' goes a long way in learning to get your way within the family and the larger world.

With the older child, permission requests should be based on safety and cultural requirements. For the child over the age of six years old, we would want to have spent the first six years of life developing a relationship of mutual respect and trust. Instead of asking permission, the older child's requests should be for adult assistance with an activity, learning something new or working through a problem.

Have a clear picture of what actions you would like or need your children to request permission. Ask if your requirements are based on safety and cultural needs. Be careful not to micromanage your children, while providing clear leadership. Oh, and give plenty of breathing room.

Next week: AThank-You to Fathers

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2008 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing