Children Love Routine, But...

The art of a parent or a teacher is to keep a child's environment predictable enough to feel safe, but challenging enough to be exciting.

Winston Churchill wrote, ''Human beings are of three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death.''

So it is with our children. We run the risk of creating places for them that are full of adult-directed busy work or toil, and their personal development is misdirected. We might create circumstances that are so unpredictable that the children are constantly worried about when the next meal might be or who is going to bully them next, and therefore development is paralyzed. Children subjected to environments that are so foreseeable that boredom pervades become apathetic or mischievous.

In today's world, many children seem to be on a tight schedule from the time they awaken until bedtime with school, team sports, special lessons, homework and more. These children don't have the luxury of time to figure out who they are or the time to dream of what they might do with their lives.

Other children are overwhelmed by their circumstances. Television news and school activities have these children despairing about global warming, carbon footprints and the world's water supply. Or perhaps the family is in turmoil. Bedtimes vary. Mealtimes and places are inconsistent. These children don't know who will pick them up from school or which house they will wake up in the morning. These children are caught in a whirlpool, and their development doesn't move forward. These children are robbed of the joy in their lives.

Some children are in situations where the same routine, the same order of the day or the same schedule of 15-minute activities dulls their intellectual curiosity. Boredom disrupts development and feeds indifference or rebellion in these children.

Young children thrive on routine when we can avoid the boredom of predictability, when we can give children new experiences in intriguing doses and when we can provide activities that are based on the children's interests versus the needs of the adults in charge.

What would an interesting and exciting daily pattern look like for a child?

The pillars of stability for a child's daily routine are mealtimes and sleep. Bedtime and wake-up time for a child should be the same everyday within fifteen minutes. Three- to five-year-olds need between 11 to 13 hours of sleep per day. On average children ages six to twelve need 10 to 11 hours of sleep per day. Arrival and pick-up times from school or the babysitter should be the same everyday. Mealtimes should be on a reasonable schedule. Basic physical needs of food and sleep need to be on a predictable timetable to help the child feel safe and worry-free.

The time between meals and rest needs to offer an assortment of activities--indoors and outdoors--along with presentation of new skills, choices to practice new skills and do activities, as well as time to reflect and be quiet.

Imagine a place filled with purposeful activities offered to children as free-choice activities. Imagine a place built with an underlying structure of predictable times for food, sleep, arrival and departure. Imagine a place that allows our children to create what Churchill might call a fourth group of human beings: People who work for pleasure and for whom work and pleasure form an exciting and interesting pattern for life.

Imagine a place where children follow a routine of...live to love, love to learn, learn to live...ad infinitum. Imagine a routine where children thrive.

Next week: Learning from Bumps and Bruises

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

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©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

For Unto Us a Child Is Born

This week we celebrate the birth of a man from Galilee. This man was born, as all of us are, as a small helpless being, dependent on the care and protection of a mother and father.

This child was born in a stable on a journey decreed by a Roman emperor in order for an accurate taxpayers' census to be prepared. In the times of Caesar Augustus expectant mothers were not allowed the luxury of staying at home during a census. Paying taxes was more important to the Roman Empire than the birth of a child.

Shepherds, due to a lack of education and wealth, were considered the lowliest members of a community. It was shepherds, though, who first recognized the birth of a child who would become the Prince of Peace.

Wise Men, kings from other countries, journeyed to bring gifts to this child. These kings realized the potential of this child. Another King, believing that the prophecy of the birth of the ''King of Kings'' had been fulfilled, ordered the slaughter of all male children under the age of three in his kingdom.

To protect their child, Mary and Joseph left their home, their family and their livelihood. This child and his parents fled to Egypt to escape King Herod's murderous edict.

At the age of twelve, this child's parents allowed him to follow his desire of becoming a rabbi, even though he would spend most of his adult life as a carpenter. The last three years of his life, from the age of thirty, this child traveled from city to city with his followers and students. He talked to people about how to be kind to one another and how to have a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. His teachings were considered treason by the governing powers at the time, and he was sentenced to death.

This week we celebrate the birth of a man from Galilee. In our celebration let us remember that we all are born as children of God with enormous potential that even a simple uneducated person, such as a shepherd, can comprehend.

In our merrymaking let us remember that each of us has possibilities that should be encouraged by those in our world who are in positions of wisdom, wealth and influence. Those of us who hold these positions of power should seek to share our gifts and offer them to our children, as the Wise Men did.

We need to be prepared to protect our children from the treachery and greed of those who would be the King Herods in our world.

Using Mary and Joseph as our models, we need to trust our children to follow their paths and believe in our children's and our own unique abilities to heal the world.

Every person on our planet is born a child. No matter what our beliefs in terms of religion, nationality or faith, the message of the child called Jesus speaks to us all, if only we will listen. The message is simple.

Jesus said that the two most important acts we can perform in the world are these:

Love the Lord thy God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

A message simple enough for a child to understand.

For unto us a child is born. We need to remember that each of us is that child.

God bless us, everyone.

Next week: Children Love Routine, But...

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

To Have Peace, Teach Peace

In the minute-by-minute clash of news from around the world, peace seems an elusive goal.

Peace, though, is not dependent on rest of the world's cooperation. Peace begins with the individual and the individual's decision to lead a peaceful life.

Peace must be chosen, and we need to teach others to choose peace, joy and happiness. We need to show others how to recognize the opportunities for decision-making that leads to a peaceful life.

The choice to lead a peaceful life requires a honing of interpersonal skills for dealing with conflict and friction that will arise with family and friends. We may choose peace, but we need to be aware of a maxim: where there are people, there are problems.

A communication tool for problem solving that is being used by families and classrooms throughout the world is the peace table.

A peace table may be an actual child-sized table, a couple of chairs, a corner of a room or a defined space where children can go to resolve a dispute with each other. The space might hold a decoration of a peace symbol, such as an olive branch, dove, flowers or similar meaningful object. A small bell's ring signals to family and classmates that a conflict has been resolved.

Children in a quarrel can choose to go to the peace table, or a parent, teacher, sibling or classmate might suggest to the children to resolve their issues at the peace table. After a few successes working through their problems, children probably won't need to be prompted to use the peace table.

The peace table procedure follows. The child who feels wronged places one hand on the table, the other hand on her heart to indicate that the words being spoken are from the heart. The child looks at the other child, speaks that child's name, explains how she feels about what has occurred and what solution she would like to see happen.

The other child has a turn, placing one hand on the table and the other hand on his heart. The dialogue continues, without outside interference, until an agreement is reached. If the children cannot resolve their disagreement, they may invite a mediator--parent, teacher, older sibling or especially trained classmate.

If the situation involves the entire family or classroom, the participants may ask for a meeting of the whole, where everyone listens to both sides of the disagreement and then is asked to speak, in turn, from the heart.

When agreement is reached, the bell is rung to signal to the family or class that an accord has been reached.

With the peace table, children learn that their point of view is important, that they will be listened to and that they will be treated with respect and fairness. In their negotiations at the peace table, children learn that arguments need to be settled with truth and good faith in order to ensure a harmonious home and a cooperative climate in their classroom.

Peace is an individual choice. In the words of the hymn: Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

Create a peace table in your work with children. To have peace, teach peace.

Next week: For Unto Us a Child Is Born

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Curing the Gimme's

Before I reached the checkout counter, I knew what was going to happen. Picking up a few items for dinner at our local market on a Sunday afternoon, I noticed a five-year-old boy with his grandmother, both of them looking a little worse for wear.

The boy sported a Red Power Ranger suit with inflatable triangles along the top of the arm. Our little Power Ranger wore the dazed look of someone who has watched too much television, eaten too many candy bars and stayed up too late for too many nights in a row. It was an unmistakable case of the Too-Too's.

The grocery cart held a bakery package of jack-o-lantern brownies along with two large bottles of orange soda. At the checkout counter, Mr. Power Ranger spied the bubblegum machine.

''Grandma, I want some bubblegum.''

''No, sweetheart. No gum. You've had enough sweets. Plus we have these brownies you wanted.''

Not a good thing to say to a Power Ranger with the Too-Too's. Instantaneous melt down was inevitable.

''GRANDMA, I WANT BUBBLEGUM. GIMME SOME MONEY. NOW.''

Grandma, much to her credit, finished paying and led her Power Ranger out by the hand.

With each opening of the automatic door, ''BUT, GRANDMA, I WANT BUBBLEGUM,'' echoed through the store as this lad refused to get into the car.

I would not wish this for anyone.

As the holiday season for gift giving approaches, catalogs, commercials and store displays compete for our children's attention. The I-Wanna's and the Gimme's can make unexpected appearances.

To avoid situations where your child becomes a poster child for the Too-Too's, I-Wanna's or Gimme's, take the following precautions. Need I remind you that these conditions are highly contagious?

Monitor your child's environment. Limit television viewing that includes excessive commercials for toys and other goodies. Avoid taking your children shopping if possible. If your child is tired or hungry, be careful to avoid situations that your child might be able to handle. With holiday schedules and activities, try to maintain a regular meal, snack and bed times. Provide non-sugary snacks, such as pretzels, veggies or holiday cookie cutter peanut butter sandwiches.

Understand the limits of your role as a parent. Desiring or wishing for things is not necessarily a bad thing. Desire is the seed of motivation. It is our job as parents to help our children learn how to become independent and have the skills to fulfill their own needs and wants. We can indirectly prepare our children for handling their desires by helping them understand our role as parents. Our job is not to give our children everything that they express a desire in having. Our job is to teach our children to fulfill their own wishes and needs. We need to teach our children to choose carefully and understand they do have choice and the responsibility for those choices.

Cultivate a family tradition of giving. When we help our children to think of others needs, we help them learn that there are more blessings in giving than receiving. Involve your three-year-olds and up in thinking of ideas for gifts for family members. Ask, ''What do you think Granddad would like for his birthday? What is Aunt Suzie's favorite color? What does Uncle Bob like to eat? What is your brother's favorite activity?'' Let your youngsters select cans of food for the food bank. Help your children purchase gifts for those in need. Bake cookies to take to neighbors.

Avoid or cure the gimme's by keeping life as uncomplicated as possible, by understanding that your role as a parent is to develop independence and by helping your child learn to give to others.

Next week: To Have Peace, Teach Peace

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Santa: Making the Invisible Visible

''I've never gotten a present from Santa Claus,'' said Iliana, my 12-year-old seatmate on an east coast flight. ''My parents thought I should only be given verifiable facts. They told me there is no veracity in Santa Claus.''

''It's too bad that no one ever told your parents about the Secret of Santa Claus. When you know the Secret, you believe in Santa Claus all your life, even if you can't verify facts.'' I said.

''You believe in Santa Claus? What secret?''

''It's simple, but....''

''Please, tell me,'' Iliana said.

''We're flying on a plane right now. Who built this plane? Who designed it? Who got it ready to fly? Who trained our pilots? We know that someone had to do it, and with some research we could find those people. We won't though. We'll never meet those people. I'll call them invisible workers since they work to give us something we couldn't do alone.''

I took a sip of coffee. ''There are thousands of invisible workers for almost everything we use. I have no idea who planted the beans for this cup of coffee, or who picked them, roasted them and packaged them. I can only thank our flight attendant, the last person in this invisible line of people.''

''I have faith,'' I continued, ''that when I wish to fly on an airplane or have a cup of coffee, these unknown people will have done their jobs, and my desires will come true. I don't have to grow my own coffee beans or build my own airplane because of all these wonderful people.''

''So you're saying that Santa Claus is an invisible worker?'' said Iliana.

''I see Santa Claus being all these people in the world, who strive to serve humankind, to make life more enjoyable, more comfortable, more magical. I will never see these people who do so many things for me, but they are most assuredly real. When I understood this, and I was older than twelve, I wanted to be that helpful kind of person. In the first stage of believing in Santa Claus, when we're little, we're on the receiving end. When we live the secret, we are on the giving side, which is fun. Being like Santa, which is doing our jobs with cheerful intention to help others, makes amazing things happen, such as flying at 30,000 feet at 500 miles an hour, while sipping coffee, and talking to you about Santa Claus.''

''I get it. Once you know how Santa works, you become Santa Claus. You do your regular stuff with love in your heart and try to help others, not expecting anything in return. Santa is people helping people. I'm pretty sure nobody told my parents that,'' Iliana said. ''I think I'm going to have some fun being an invisible worker.''

I was hoping I could show Iliana that Santa is that invisible force of faith, charity, believing and doing that cannot be easily explained. For the young child, one way we can help them see and experience this force is in Santa's work. As the young child enters a developmental stage of reasoning, around age six, and begins to wonder about Santa, we need to give them opportunities to work and contribute to something bigger than themselves. We need to show them how to choose to be part of the magical power of giving, service and surprise.

As we walked off the plane, Iliana said, ''I'm so excited about Santa Claus. I've already got some great ideas. I think this feeling is what the saying, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive,' means. Boy, are my parents and a few other people going to be surprised.''

Iliana spied her grandparents and started singing, ''Here Comes Santa Claus.'' They laughed and said, ''What are you so happy about?''

As I walked away, Iliana waved and winked at me, then answered, ''It's a secret.''

Next week: Curing the Gimme's

Note from Maren: This article originally appeared as a Kids Talk™ newsletter in December of 2004 and 2005. I am sending it out again due to numerous calls I received for it last year. Enjoy!

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing