Drawing with Children

Betty Edwards in her book, Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, explains that around age ten the logical left side of the brain begins to dominate our thinking and overrides our creative right brain. Our left brain criticizes our work, and out of our mouth comes words like: That doesn’t look like a bird. You can't draw birds. You draw like a baby. How embarrassing.

The bossy left brain keeps picking at our efforts until we lose heart and stop trying, our artistic skills languishing at a ten-year-old level.

We can rescue our artist by shifting to right-brained thinking. As visual artists admit, training the eye to see is more important in artistic expression than training the hand to perform.

To prepare to work, creative types consciously shift their thinking to the right brain. This switch is aided by using right brain functions, such as movement by going for a walk, dancing, swimming, etc.; using music by listening to instrumental music, singing or humming; changing the lighting to be darker or softer; doodling or resting the eyes for five to ten minutes.

My favorite art lessons begin as I meet my students at the door fresh from outdoor activity. Soft classical music plays in a darkened classroom. I whisper to my students that it's art time, and they should take care of getting a drink and going to the bathroom before sitting down with a piece of paper and an art box. I also ask my students to rest their eyes after they sit down.

A few side notes: As part of our artwork, we talked in the classroom about right- and left-brain functions and how the artist inside you should ignore left-brain criticisms.

Also I brought to my students' attention that everyone's work is individualistic. ''Does Jimmy look like Bradley?'' I'd ask. ''No, so we can't expect anybody's work to look like any one else's, because it is an individual expression.'' Any comments about a drawing could only be about what you liked about the work.

An art box consists of eight wide-tipped colored markers, eight fine-tipped markers and twelve colored pencils with a hand-held sharpener.

We'd begin with a doodling exercise, adapted from Mona Brookes book, Drawing with Children. This exercise reinforces the individual nature of art since every doodle is different with the same instructions.

Doodling exercise: Turn your paper any way you want.

Take a fine tipped marker and make three straight lines on the paper in any direction. Make sure the lines go from one side to another.

Take a wide-tipped marker and make three dots, any size, any color, anywhere on your paper.

Choose another color wide-tipped marker, and put it on one of your dots. Make a curved line until it goes off the edge of your paper.

Take a fine-tipped marker and make another circle anywhere on your paper.

Color in your design any way you would like, with any color, texture or pattern you desire.

After the warm-up doodling, I invited the students to sketch a still life of three to five objects.

With low lighting and soft music the children worked in a guaranteed no-talking environment for thirty minutes. Students drew for as long or as little as they wanted. Our only requirements were to let others work as long as they desired, to sign and date your work and then let me check it before putting it in your portfolio. I wanted to see the work in order to encourage completion. No grades were given.

Students enjoyed this activity and tended to delve into large projects, such as creative writing, reading or research reports after a right-brained art session.

I've had positive results doing this lesson with children from 4 to 16 years old, in groups of one to thirty students, at home and at school. The variations of still life objects, along with materials and techniques, keep this exercise varied and exciting.

Join in the lesson, and free your ten-year-old artist.

Next week: Writing a Thank-you Note

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

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©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Talking to Teachers

Walking in from lunch, you see a message that your child's teacher has called.

For most of us, we get a knot in our stomach because we aren't expecting good news. Plus we've been conditioned for twelve or thirteen years that being talked to by the teacher or being sent to the principal's office is--well, let's say it--not fun.

Chances are your child's teacher is calling with concerns about behavior or schoolwork. Before you call be sure you have time to talk, or arrange for another time to visit. Prior to your phone call, take a few minutes to think through or do the following suggestions:

• Have pen and paper handy to take notes.
• Listen to the teacher, and give him or her the time to fully express concerns before you ask any questions.
• Use the old standards for questioning: Who? What? When? Where? How? Why? Using this style of inquiry can help you see the situation in a larger perspective.
• Focus on helping your child and on your child's needs.
• Act in partnership to help your child.
• Share ideas of your strategies to help the teacher.
• After talking with the teacher, involve your child in the problem-solving process.
• Plan a follow-up conversation to see how the changes are working.

Teachers' calls usually pertain to a child's behavior or schoolwork. Let's look at a situation.

Your child's teacher says your child is having trouble in math. Listen and take notes while giving the teacher time to voice all of her concerns. Gather more information by asking the who, what, when, where, why and how questions. Perhaps you might ask some questions like these:

• What kind of math problems is my child having problems with?
• When did this start? Does it happen everyday?
• Where does my child sit in class?
• How does my child try to solve the math problem?
• Who can my child go to for help?
• How can I help?
• Why do you think my child is having this problem?
• When can we visit about this situation again?
• Share strategies that work for you with the teacher. Also, be sure to thank the teacher for calling. It is a lot easier to pick up the phone to call an appreciative parent.

After visiting with the teacher, visit with your child and involve your child in the problem-solving process. ''Your teacher called today to say you are having some difficulties learning your addition facts. What do you think?''

Listen to your child, and ask them how you might help him or her.

Use these suggestions to have a productive discussion with your child's teacher, focusing on your child's needs while listening to your child's teacher's concerns. Remember to involve your child in the solution process. Put a follow-up date on your calendar to visit with both your child and the teacher.

A phone call from your child's teacher is an opportunity to work in partnership to meet your child's needs. That's good news. So, relax.

Next week: Drawing with Children

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

What's Scary About School?

As the first day of preschool or kindergarten approaches, some children feel anticipation and excitement, while others are anxiety-filled. Here are situations that your child might find fearful about going to school.

Separation. If your child enjoys new situations and adjusts quickly to unaccustomed people and places, going to school probably won't be a scary situation. For the child who doesn't adapt to novel experiences quickly, being separated from family and home can be difficult.

As parents, we also need to ask ourselves an important question: Who doesn't want to be separated from whom? At times our children's anxieties reflect our own concerns and emotions.

To help ease worries for everyone, plan to visit your child's school and teacher before school starts. If possible, try to meet with other students and parents before the beginning of school, so your child will see familiar faces on that first day.

On the first day of school, leave quickly while communicating to your child that you know he or she will have a wonderful day. Smile, even though you may feel like crying that your baby is so grown up. Make your self-confidence contagious.

New teacher. Older siblings and friends can create a sense of dread about school. Again, visiting with the teacher before the first day of school can help allay some of these fears.

If your child complains about his or her teacher, ask your child what he or she doesn't like about the teacher. Perhaps the teacher's style is firm or loud and could be perceived as mean. If complaints continue, visit with the teacher to gain insight into whether your child is having trouble adjusting to a classroom situation and the behavior expectations that go with adapting to a school environment.

Going to the bathroom. Compared to home, school bathrooms are often big, messy and a long way down the hall. Many children are too timid to ask permission to go to the bathroom or are afraid of going alone. Exhaust fans can sound like jet engines to children and stalls may seem dark and uncomfortable.

A before-school visit is another tool for sizing up the bathroom situation so that your child will be at ease with getting to and from the bathroom. Also, getting a drink of water from a water fountain can be a difficulty for a new student, so helping your child find and practice working the water fountain might be appreciated.

The school bus. The yellow school bus is a symbol of being a big kid, and most children long for the day when they can ride the school bus. Children worry about getting on the wrong bus, who they are going to sit with on the bus and whether the older children are going to be nice.

Make sure your child knows his or her bus number (and phone number) and what to do if on the wrong bus. Devising a buddy system with your child and a friend can help make climbing on the bus that first time a little easier.

The fears most children have about school relate to powerlessness or abandonment. Think about ways your child might feel weak, uncertain or alone, and try to address these situations with your child.

Let us remember to involve our children in the process by simply asking, ''How do you feel about going to school?'' or, ''Are you afraid of going to school?'' When we remember to listen more and talk less, then we can help our children handle those scary situations by themselves.

Next week: Talking to Teachers

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Who Owns the Problem?

Five-year-old Samantha leaves her lunchbox at home at least once a week. Her mother, Lori, makes a special trip to school to bring Samantha's lunch--a thirty-minute disruption to Lori's day.

Who owns the problem of getting Samantha's lunch to school? Samantha or her mother?

Some parents feel that they own all their children's problems. When we take responsibility for every one of our children's actions, we are robbing our children of the opportunity to grow more responsible and to understand the consequences of their actions or inactions.

If the child owns the problem, we should let the child handle the problem but support the child as necessary.

If the parent owns the problem, then we must work with the child in order for the child to learn from the experience and become more responsible.

We can determine who own the problem by asking the following questions:

1. Who is directly affected with this situation?

2. Who is the person complaining or making an issue of the situation?

3. Whose work is being undermined?

In the forgotten lunch situation of Samantha and Lori, both Samantha and Lori are directly affected, along with others in Samantha's classroom. Samantha pouts and refuses to join in classroom activities, thus disturbing her classmates, until she can call her mother to bring her lunch.

Samantha is the major complainer in this situation. Lori isn't thrilled, either, about having to take another 30 minutes out of her morning to get lunch to school.

Lori's work is being undermined by Samantha's forgetfulness, while Samantha's work of becoming more responsible is not being developed.

Samantha should own the problem of remembering her lunch and suffer the consequences of having to eat school lunch on the days she forgets her lunch. Lori can work with Samantha to help Samantha learn to independently remember her lunch by using mnemonic devices such as placing a note on the back door or the back seat of the car.

Our goals as parents should be to help our children develop concentration and independence. Helping our children own their problems prepares our children for the challenges they will encounter in the day-to-day existence of their lives.

Many adults who work with elementary, junior high, high school and college-age students report that parents seem to be running interference for their children far more often than necessary, thus denying their children the chance to learn from solving their own problems.

These parents seem to appear immediately out of nowhere to intervene in their children's difficulties, thus earning themselves the nickname of ''helicopter parents.'' Calling teachers about forgotten homework, arguing with coaches about a demerit in sports, hiring consultants to write college applications, to appearing on their children's job interviews on college campuses--every new experience for their children is hovered over by these helicopter parents in misguided search-and-rescue attempts.

Allow your children to take responsibility for their own problems, while supporting your children as they learn to navigate new waters.

Before jumping in to solve a problem, ask yourself, ''Who truly owns this problem?''

If the answer is ''my child,'' don't hesitate ''to let 'em have it.''

Remember: It is only one squiggly letter to go from mothering to smothering.

Next week: School Anxieties

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

The Compliment Game

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Our daughter, Dana, came home from her freshman year of college and suggested that we play the Dana Game. ''I've taught all my friends at school how to play it.''

''How do we play?'' I asked.

''We'll go around in a circle. First you say what Dana does that you like, then Dad goes, then Hannah. Then we start over again.''

What a hoot. I had to laugh out loud. This was quite a twist on our family meeting compliment time that we learned from our Active Parenting class. I had also used compliment time in my classroom. Dana had taken compliment time to a new level.

Compliment time involves a few basic rules. First, the compliment must be truthful and kind regarding someone's actions. No silly faces. The compliment may not be about personal appearance or clothes. You must look the person directly in the eye while giving a compliment.

During a group time I told my three-, four- and five-year-old preschool students that I'd like to start a compliment time each day for the next month. This is how I introduced compliment time to my class.

''What is a compliment?'' I asked.

''It's when you say something nice about somebody,'' responded my older students.

''Yes, and the best compliment is when you let someone know you like something they do. We can give compliments on how someone looks or their clothes, but the best kind of compliment is about something a person does. Today, I'm going to give each of you a compliment as I go around our circle. When I'm finished I'll ask each of you to give me a compliment, so you can practice. Tomorrow we will each give Andy a compliment. We'll take turns until everyone has a compliment day.''

''Also, one more thing you need to know about compliments. When someone gives you a compliment, look them in the eye and say, 'Thank you.''' Around the circle I went, complimenting each child.

''Andy, I like how you help younger students tie their shoes.''

''Thank you,'' Andy, a five-year old, replied.

''Lauren, I like how you always smile when you sing.''

''Thank you.''

''Nick, I like how you sweep the floor after lunch.''

''Thank you.''

Around the circle I went, passing out compliments and getting thank you's in return.

It was the children's turn to practice by complimenting me. I heard the same three or four compliments, but as I had experienced before, it feels really good to hear 20 or more people say something truthful and kind about you. Talk about a natural high.

Every day we had compliment time. We started with the oldest students in order to model to the younger students how to give and receive a compliment.

In little over a month every child had his or her time in the limelight. Each day I announced the child who would be the honoree for the next session in order for the children to have time to think about what to say.

In a matter of a few days, with compliment time, our classroom atmosphere began to feel kinder. Complimented children seemed to walk a little taller for days afterwards. Children acted more patient with each other.

Play the Dana Game, excuse me, the Compliment Game, with your children. Sincere appreciation in the form of a compliment goes a long way. Be sure to give yourself a turn, or two, or more.

Thank you for reading this column. I appreciate your readership.

Next week: Take a Snapshot

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a FREE subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing