Take a Snapshot

During the first six to seven years of our lives, we are in a unique period of learning and development. During this phase of human growth we learn unconsciously from our environment. During the first three years of life, we learn to walk and talk along with a myriad of other skills unaware that we are learning.

During this initial phase of human development, there are critical periods for learning where certain skills will never again be so easy to acquire. These sensitive periods for learning include language, movement, social skills, refinement of sensory information, along with perceiving order and relationships in the world.

A perfect time to assess important growth occurs as your child turns three years old. It is an ideal moment to take a snapshot of your child's progress. At 36 months every child should have specific skills that are well developed. Here is a quick checklist of tasks your three-year old should be able to perform. If your child is not exhibiting these skills at 36 months, it is time to look at what could be creating delays and addressing those issues.

Gross Motor Skills

• Walks well
• Runs
• Throws ball overhead
• Jumps up
• Balances on each foot for two seconds

Fine Motor Skills

• Uses thumb finger grasp
• Scribbles
• Builds a tower with two cubes
• Can draw a vertical line
• Can draw a circle

Language

• Says own first name
• Answers to own name
• Speech is understandable to all
• Speaks in complete sentences
• Uses correct grammar, i.e.
  (says, I am going to the store and not me go store)

Daily Life

• Brushes teeth
• Sorts objects by category
• Uses fork and spoon
• Drinks from a cup
• Can put on t-shirt
• Can put on elastic waist pants
• Toilet trained

If your child is unable to do one or more of these activities, please discuss this with your pediatrician, and think about some of the following:

• Does your child have any vision challenges?
• Is your child's hearing clear?
• Is your child getting enough one-on-one language experience?
• Is your child being encouraged to do things by him or herself?
• Is your child watching two hours or less of television or video games?
• Does your child have enough opportunities for movement?
• Is your child’s diet providing important nutrition and energy?

The wonderful part of this stage of development is that it lasts for six years. When we look carefully at our child at age three, we have another three years to address any learning concerns by changing and enriching a child's environment. Developmental challenges addressed around age three are more likely to be short-lived and not become a lifelong situation.

A child's brain and body are developing at a rapid rate during the first six years of life. Providing opportunities to enrich daily experiences in vital areas can cover learning requirements in areas that may need additional nourishment and direction.

Take a few minutes and develop a snapshot of your child's development.

Next week: Modeling Behavior

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
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©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

The Metamorphosis of Childhood

Most ten-year-olds can tell you the stages of development for a butterfly or a frog. A butterfly begins as an egg, becoming a larva, a caterpillar, then a chrysalis emerging into a butterfly. A frog starts as an egg, hatching into a tadpole, turning into a polliwog, at last transforming into an adult frog. At each stage of change the frog and butterfly have differing needs for nourishment and environment.

As human beings, we also go through distinct changes, perhaps not with the physical drama of a butterfly or frog, but with identifiable changes in behavior with indicated physical and psychological needs. Too many times children are treated as though they are miniature adults. The human being, though, does not fully reach adulthood until around the age of twenty-four years.

In the infant who cannot feed him or herself, it is easy for us to observe the swift changes of the first two years of life. By the age of three years, a child learns to crawl, walk, talk and eat table food, along with a multitude of self-care skills that help the child become more independent from caregivers.

Unfortunately for many of our children, this early independence leads adults to think that children three years and older are tiny grown-ups. Many of us are more aware of the requirements of cocoons and polliwogs than children's needs between the ages of three to six years.

The three- to six-year-old is in a period of unconscious learning, absorbing information about his or her time and place from every aspect of the immediate environment. The child is unaware of learning and chooses to place his or her attention on activities that are repeated frequently. The child watches, listens, copies others and learns. This style of learning creates the following distinct needs for the young child:

• A need for an environment rich in language and experiences as vocabulary and storytelling capabilities are developed.
• A need to use his or her hands to connect the body and the brain to the realities of life.
• A need to create an emotional foundation built on the love, trust and respect of surrounding adults.
• A need to repeat activities in order to develop self-mastery and independence.
• A need for direct guidance on how to interact with people--within the family and the larger social network of school, church and other activities.
• A need for opportunities to refine the five senses of hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling and touching and to connect precise language to those experiences.
• A need for truthful and accurate information as the young child doesn’t have a wealth of experiences to discern between fact and fiction, fantasy and reality.
• A need for movement as the brain requires the body’s motions for optimum neural development.
• A need for opportunities to exercise his or her will by having freedom within limits that enlarge as skills grow.

During this period of building foundational skills, the child is laying the groundwork for the adult he or she will become. The child is father to the man.

As the first tooth is lost and adult teeth emerge around the ages of six or seven years, the child begins a different phase of development. At this age, we notice that the baby face look of the younger child is replaced by a taller thinner appearance. The older child wants opportunities to go out into the world and step outside the familiar circle of family, school and church; desires novel experiences; is concerned with friends and working in a group instead of focusing on personal skills; wants to know why and problem solve; is concerned with learning about right and wrong; desires an idea of the big picture of the universe.

Observe the differences between a four-year-old and a seven-year-old and you should see creatures as different as a larva to a caterpillar, or a tadpole to a polliwog.

We'd make sure a caterpillar had the right leaves to eat, and a polliwog had a pond. Let's use our influence as adults to create a world where our children have the opportunities to grow and change in the time-specific ways children need.

Next week: Take a Snapshot

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Three Things to Find When All Is Not Well

''If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all.'' There are times in all of our lives that we can feel this way. Headed down a bumpy stretch of road, it can seem as of the trip is never going to end.

A series of unfortunate or stressful events can create a shift in our perception, causing us to focus on the mishaps. This misperception makes us, adult or child, view our circumstances with negativity and pessimism.

When we get the flu, the car breaks down, the roof leaks, a car hits the dog--all in the same week--it takes some doing to find that ray of sunshine.

Life comes at us fast and furiously; the inevitable stress that follows can keep us from seeing the bright side of life. Psychologists consider the following events to be the top stressors in our lives: death of a spouse or close family member, divorce, marital separation, incarceration, personal injury or illness, losing a job or starting a new job, moving to a new community, getting married and retirement.

Have more than one of these circumstances in the past six months? Consider yourself and your immediate family on stress overload. If life starts to get you or a loved one down, take time everyday to find three things that went well and consider the positive aspects of those events.

Five-year-old Betsy's family relocated, and her father, Jim, started a job with a new company that included additional travel. Betsy's mother, Sarah, was sent to bed rest for a difficult pregnancy. Jim's mother, Peg, came to help out. Stress overload.

Needless to say, little Betsy's world was turned upside down. Betsy cried easily, didn't want to go to school, complained of her stomach hurting, whined about being bored and had nightmares.

Grandma Peg decided to try to help Betsy shift her perception and created a humorous game that Peg called ''What's Up, Doc?'' using mannerisms from the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

''What's up, Doc?'' Peg wiggled her nose and chomped on an imaginary carrot.

''Nuthin' much,'' Betsy said.

''What about Maggie coming over today? That was pretty up.''

''Yeah, we had fun with the hula hoops. I counted to a hundred before the hula hoop fell down.''

''What about reading to your mom today and painting her toenails?'

''That was fun, too. I hope Mommy likes her purple sparkly toes.''

''What about talking to your dad on the phone?''

''Daddy is so funny. He always makes me laugh.''

''So, I see three ups today, Betsy. Hula hoops, toenails and daddy calls.''

In a matter of a few days, Betsy began answering, ''What's up, Doc?'' on her own, and in a couple of weeks Betsy's complaints disappeared.

Grandma Peg says that Betsy, now in college, calls her each week and starts the conversation with--you guessed it--''What's up, Doc?''

So, when life throws you a curve ball, look for three things everyday that went well and why.

''Th-th-that's all folks!''

Next week: The Metamorphosis of Childhood

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

There Is No Quick Fix

We all look for it. It's human nature to search for the easy way out, the fast buck and the simplest or cheapest solution.

In human relationships there is no quick fix. Mutual trust and respect must form the foundation of any successful relationship. Without trust and respect, relationships flounder, and eventually whatever natural bonds exist unravel.

As parents and adults, in our relationships with children, we must bring with us the utmost trust and respect for the child and our relationship. We must trust and respect the work of the child in his or her efforts to build a unique human being. The child's life is totally dependent on his or her adult relationships. The adults in a child's life create the conditions for the child's self-construction. A breakdown in the critical underpinnings of those adult/child interactions adversely affects the child.

When we experience a child doing what he or she ''ought not'' or being ''naughty,'' we need to realize that the child has lost an essential connection to an important adult in his or her life. A misbehaving child is trying to communicate that he or she has lost vital trust and respect with an adult.

Seeking answers on how to deal with our children, we take parenting classes, read books and advice columns and visit with other parents. The easy solution is not to be found there.

We learn communication techniques, such as active listening, I-messages, logical consequences, etc., to try to solve our problems with children. These tools can help if used in a spirit of trying to work with our children instead of trying to put a bandage on a floundering relationship. Effective communication skills depend on an underlying foundation of mutual trust and respect.

Many times our difficulties with children stem from deficiencies of personal trustworthiness and respectfulness in our relationship.

Trustworthiness is created by a combination of character and competence.

Character is comprised of three basic qualities: integrity, maturity and generosity. When we can make and keep promises to our

selves and to others, we have integrity. Maturity comes when we have experienced the effort and effect of keeping our promises and can deal with problems with kindness and compassion. Generosity comes from a belief that there are plenty of resources to go around and that mistakes are only setbacks in reaching our objectives.

A person of character can walk their talk with kindness and compassion while possessing a generous spirit.

Competence, the other component of trustworthiness, requires practical skills, the ability to see the big picture and an understanding that all things are interrelated. With competency, we know how to do something; we know why we are doing it; and we understand how it connects to the bigger picture, either now, or in the future.

Respect, a cornerstone for successful relationships, literally means to look again from its Latin roots of re + spectare. With respect, we look a person in the eye, and the person looks back. The relationship connects through the eyes. With just a look we show respectfulness while non-verbally communicating, ''I think you are a worthwhile human being.'' To get respect, we have to give respect.

A misbehaving child is a discouraged child, a child looking and not finding trustworthiness and respectfulness in an essential adult relationship. When navigating rough waters and unknown territory in your adult/child relationships, think about why a child may have lost a vital connection to your trust and respect, then work to re-establish that trust and respect.

Relationships are built with character, competence and respect. There is no easy way.

Next week: Three Things to Find When All Is Not Well

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2007 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing