Competition

The 30ish-year-old father stood next to me on the playing field. We were watching his four-year-old son's soccer team.

''I can't wait until Josh is old enough to play catch with me,'' he said.

''Josh is old enough to play catch with you now. Matter of fact, if you don't build that relationship now, when he's six or seven he'll choose his friends over you,'' I said. ''When did your dad start throwing balls to you?''

It's August and time to go back to school and team sports--soccer, football, cross-country, basketball, t-ball, softball, baseball, track, etc. The trend nationwide seems to involve children as young as three or four in Little League clubs.

Why? Why do we feel that it's important for pre-schoolers to be involved in a team sport? Are team sports the right thing for our under-sixes?

Competition seems to mean ''to win'' and that the most important result of competing is winning. The structure of team sports creates ''winners'' and ''losers.''

The word competition derives from the Latin com, meaning ''with,'' and petere, meaning ''to strive.'' To strive with others or to strive together. With competition, we become competent.

Sports evolved from a desire or need to stay physically fit. There is nothing like signing up for a 10K event with friends to help you roll out of bed for a 6 a.m. run.

In today's team sports, for what are we striving together? What is our common goal? If it is only to accrue points and declare one group winners and another group losers, we fail our children.

Is our objective to learn to work together as a team? Is it to learn to take direction from a coach? Is it to learn to be gracious whether we win or lose, understanding that unless we have competitors, we cannot claim the title of winner?

Winning status is conferred on us by those who compete against us. Winning is bestowed by those who strive with us toward common goals. A true competitor understands this. If our common goal is to stay physically fit and active, we should realize that we work harder because of our competitors, win or lose, fast or slow, junior or varsity.

Our pre-schoolers are in a developmental period of self-mastery along with developing independence and concentration. Do our team sports for children under the age of six or seven aid this development? Most of my observations tell me no.

Many of our pre-schoolers are attending team practices and games when these children's needs could be better served by kicking and dribbling a soccer ball in their own backyard or in a park with parents or siblings. In a Costa Rican park I observed a lone three-year-old boy dribble and juggle a soccer ball for almost an hour. I lost concentration before he did.

Pre-schoolers need to be working on skills that promote self-mastery, independence and concentration. Around age six, children begin a developmental period during which they enjoy and require group interaction and team-building.

Let's give our pre-schoolers the time to develop close family relationships, master individual skills, develop physical and mental independence while acquiring strong focus doing age-appropriate activities.

When our children, around age six or seven, are ready and ask to compete and work in a team, they will bring these foundational skills, strong relationships, self-reliance and concentration to their activities. Until then, let's allow kids to be kids.

Next week: The Power of Family Stories

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

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©2006 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

TV or Not TV, That Is the Question

''All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.''

~Blaise Pascal (1623 -1662)

''I can tell you exactly the year that my students changed,'' my college professor told our class in the 1970's. ''I'd ask a question, and nobody made any attempt to answer it. They thought they were watching TV. My students expected me to give them the answer.''

And so it goes.

Today our children are more tuned in than ever to TV, DVDs, video games, computers, text messaging cell phones and personal music devices. What have they tuned out?

Silence and the ability to listen to themselves. During our children's day, when do they have quiet time to think their own thoughts and reflect on their own lives?

How can we help our children unplug from other people's voices and dramas, and tap into listening to their own voices?

Be the adult in charge. Use common-sense rules and keep televisions and computers out of bedrooms. Keep computers in common areas, so the screens are easy to monitor. Make rules limiting usage of the phone and other devices. Recently I have seen children as young as six with personal cell phones and iPods.

Use low-tech devices to engage your children. Jigsaw puzzles, books for reading aloud, cooking, after-dinner walks, model building, crossword puzzles, Sudoku--all these can help your child and you unplug and engage in interpersonal and intrapersonal communication.

Take a vacation from electronics. Have a ''power outage'' at your house one evening a month. Sit around the fire or in the yard to watch fireflies. Play charades, board games or card games by candlelight. Fix a special snack, and enjoy each other's company.

Turn off your TV for a week. If your power outage night was a success, think about unplugging for a week. Coordinate with a few friends or neighbors to plan some group activities that don't involve television, computers or video games.

A 20-year study on the qualities associated with success suggests that certain personal attributes contribute to one's sense of achievement. Success was defined as having positive family relations, good friends, being loved, self-approval, job satisfaction, physical and mental health, financial comfort, spiritual contentment and an overall sense of meaning to one's life.

The qualities that contribute to the richness of life were self-awareness, being proactive, perseverance, goal-setting, effective support systems and emotional coping strategies. Do our children's plugged-in devices contribute to the building of these qualities?

The research also suggests that these characteristics may influence success and self-fulfillment more than such factors as academic performance, gender, socio-economic status, ethnicity and IQ (intelligence quotient).

Our children need peace and quiet to think their own thoughts and to learn to enjoy being with the person they'll live with all their lives--the person in the mirror. Our children need time with family and friends to build lifelong positive relationships. Let's be sure our children, tempted with a variety of electronic media, are not tuning out the ability to love their lives.

For more information about unplugging, visit www.tvturnoff.org.

Next week: Competition

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2006 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Economics for Life

''People are changed not by coercion or intimidation but by example.''

~John C. Maxwell

''After you graduate from college and get a job, you'll have more money,'' my grandmother told me, ''but you won't be any happier. You'll just have a new set of problems.''

The years validate the accuracy of my grandmother's advice. I'm no happier watching a big-screen home theater in 2006 than munching popcorn in front of a 13'' black-and-white TV in 1979.

Parents report that their biggest source of conflict within their family revolves around money issues, such as unexpected bills, overspending, savings, retirement and college planning. Communication about money is difficult for many reasons--one being that control of money and power are interwoven. Plus, we may have learned that polite people don't discuss money.

Visiting with parents whose child is having behavior or learning problems, I often times observe stress within the marriage. The child's difficulties may act as a pressure valve within the family. Parent conflicts about money management factor into the child's emotional stability, a stability that creates the foundation for learning and achievement.

It's not fair that in the game of life as young adults we are trying to figure out many things at once--getting along with our life partner, raising children and planning for our future. A weak understanding of finance and basic economics can cause long-term difficulties for our families.

''Money doesn't solve all your problems,'' my dad used to say, ''but it sure gives you a lot more options.'' All of us can use more options.

Money is a tool that we need to be taught to use, but unfortunately, we learn by trial and error, the old school of hard knocks. Only 26 percent of 13- to 21-year-olds report that their parents had actively taught them how to manage money. 79 percent of students between the ages of 16 and 22 have never taken a personal finance course in school. Students are graduating college with more debt than our first home cost 30 years ago.

Here are three questions that many people answer incorrectly:

1. If you put $100 a month in an IRA that earns 6% annually, how much money will you have after 40 years? A) $50,000 B) $150,000 C) $200,00 or D) $360,000

Answer: C) $200,000

2. If you have a credit card balance of $5,000 and make the typical minimum monthly payment, approximately how much will you pay in total? A) $6,000 B) $10,000 C) $14,000 D) $19,000

Answer: D) $19,000

3. What is the biggest factor in determining your credit rating with banks? A) income level B) home ownership C) amount of debt D) FICO score

Answer: D) FICO score

Our children face financial challenges as pension plans change to individual retirement accounts, health benefits become health savings accounts and mortgages span 40 years. We need to be savvy to help our children learn how to become financially self-sufficient. How should we begin?

Teach savings from around age three. Financial consultants recommend that we use three piggy banks, plus a savings account. 20 percent should go into a long-term savings account for goals that are longer than a year away, such as college. Another 20 percent goes into a piggy bank is for short-term savings, such as saving for a bicycle. The next piggy holds 10 percent for philanthropy. Day-to-day expenditures, the remaining 50 percent, go into the third penny bank. Some advisors suggest calling the short-term savings ''taxes'' to foster true understanding of where money goes.

Allow your children to make mistakes. Give your children opportunities to make buying decisions about toys and clothes. From the consequences of making an unwise purchase, your children will learn to be judicious with their resources. They'll see that ''all that glitters is not gold.''

Lead by example. As parents we spend more time teaching our children how to ride a bike than showing them how to financially plan to achieve their goals. Develop a financial plan for your family and teach your children how to use money as a tool to realize their dreams.

In the end, as my grandmother said, it's not how much money you have but how you decide to use your money.

Visit www.Econ4U.org for more information about teaching and learning economic literacy.

Next week: TV or not TV, That Is the Question

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2006 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing

Shoe Leather Is Cheap

How can we establish a habit of fitness for our children and ourselves? May I recommend a step at a time?

Hugh Gailey, a 94-year-old gentleman now living in Stevenson, Washington, walks 100 miles per week. Mr. Gailey keeps up this pace because he says, ''shoe leather is cheaper than medicine and doctor's bills. Walking is the best exercise for any age.''

Childhood obesity grows epidemic as our children spend more time inside with TVs, computers, video games and more. Many of our neighborhoods lack good sidewalks or walking paths, and as parents, we are fearful of letting our children out alone to walk to school, to visit friends or to attend after school activities.

Setting aside time regularly to walk with your children will help establish a lifelong fitness habit. It might put some pep in your step, too.

Establish a family walking time. Plan for three walks per week that last for 30 minutes to an hour. Put it on the calendar so that it becomes part of your family's routine.

Enter walking events. Many organizations offer walk/run events with families in mind. Sign up with friends and neighbors and have a walking party.

Get a dog (or borrow a friend's). Dogs need to be walked at least once a day. The larger the dog, the longer and more frequent the walks need to be. If you need help keeping on a fitness track, a dog may help. Also, a dog offers some protection.

Get pedometers. Children find it a blast to see how many steps they've taken in a day. Seeing the number of steps can serve as an incentive to do a little more and perhaps promote some friendly competition.

Take nature walks. Use guidebooks for flowers, trees, clouds and birds to identify discoveries on your journeys. The Audubon Society has pocket-sized books and guide sheets.

Bring a healthy snack. Stop and have an apple or a handful trail mix. A little surprise treat can help make walking seem special. Depending on the length of your walks and local climate, consider bringing water with you, too.

Change it up. Walk in different areas instead of the same four blocks in your neighborhood. Local and state parks have trails that can take you out to nature.

Take a map. Use your walks to teach map reading. Let your children plan your route. Walks can help your children learn north, south, east and west. Street, traffic and directional signs take on new meanings for your children as you walk with a map.

Walk and talk. Use your walks to visit, catch-up, discuss family values or tell family stories. Scheduled walks allow your children to know they will have the time to bring up certain subjects that they might not address otherwise.

Be safe. Wear reflective gear (reflective tape works well on the back of jackets) or walking lights if out at dusk or dark. Walk against traffic when walking in the street. Use sidewalks and crosswalks properly. Look 17 times before crossing the street.

As you establish family walk times, you might find that you're out rain or shine. So, get out your calendar. Dig out those walking shoes. Open your front door, and you're on your way.

Next week: Economics for Life

Kids Talk™ is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 25 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Complete Collection of the Shining Light Reading Series Now Available on DVD
Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
Click here for a free subscription.

©2006 KIDS TALK™
25877 East Bright Avenue
Welches, OR 97067
503.550.3143
maren@kidstalknews.com

Kids Talk is published in conjunction with Scribe Marketing