The Power of Touch

We all need a certain amount of attention from others to thrive and survive. The late Virginia Satir, a family therapist, said that we need four hugs a day to survive, eight hugs per day to stay at a strong emotional level and twelve a day to grow.

Unfortunately in our busy world, the time to hug and be hugged seems to be in short supply. Kids are funny in a strange kind of way. Children will do whatever is necessary to get the attention they need to survive. They’ll get our attention, either positively or negatively, by either constructive or antagonistic actions.

In their unconscious need for attention, I’ve seen siblings fighting and name calling, in a contest for their parents’ attention. Having mom or dad yell at you, spank you or send you to your room fulfills a deep need for attention, in a powerful, yet negative way.

Growing up, my mom would sit down after we got in from school and have a snack with the five of us for about 30 minutes. She would listen intently about our day. After I left home and visited, I would marvel at how my mom could sit and listen to my brothers and sisters.

“How do you listen to all their stuff, day after day?” I asked her.

“I know if I don’t do it, all types of chaos and craziness will ensue by bedtime. Half an hour of focused time now, and everybody can have peace and quiet.”

I began to notice that the days when my mother was not available for after-school time, my siblings were more prone to quarreling and dramatic outbursts. I’ve also observed this with my own children. For the children in my classroom, a little one-on-one teacher time was helpful when I knew that parents were out of town.

A parent or other caring adult’s attention is a powerfully calming agent for children. When children don’t receive the attention they need, equivalent to four to twelve hugs a day, they’ll find a way, mischievous or not, to get it.

Small parenting gestures, such as hugs, pats, smiles, sitting on laps, sitting next to one another, playing games, singing, brushing hair or backrubs, can communicate a lot of attention in a very short time. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a loving touch is worth a thousand kind words.

Sherrie, mother to 16-year-old Liz, came to study group with an uncharacteristic cloud over her head. “Liz and I seem to be at loggerheads. She comes in from ballet practice every night so grumpy and nasty. I know it’s tough trying to do everything she’s doing, but I seem to be the target of all her anger.”

“Rub her feet,” said Bobbie, the grandmother in our group. “If you can rub her feet, which is a neutral touch zone for a teen, your touch will communicate how much you care.”

“And dancers love to have their feet rubbed,” Sherrie agreed.

Two days later Sherrie reported success with her touch therapy with Liz. “Liz actually smiled at me. After about five minutes, she started telling me what was going on with her. Last night she ask me to rub her feet, and we had the best conversation ever.”

Kids will find a way to get your attention either with a warm fuzzy or a cold prickly. Using positive touch to communicate your attention can yield powerful results. Hug, pat or massage your child each day to use the power of touch to communicate your caring and to create a relationship built on positive interactions. Best of all, it doesn’t cost a thing. It's low in fat and has no calories, too.

Next week: Oxygen for Brain Development

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
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©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Boys and Girls Learn Differently

In his book Boys and Girls Learn Differently, Michael Gurian cites 20 years of brain research to highlight the differences of how males and females learn. In the past few years, being a boy seems to be a pathology as more boys are being diagnosed with ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and undergo drug therapy, usually based on the observations and recommendations of female caregivers or teachers.

Understanding some of the learning differences between boys and girls would serve all of us--children, parents, teachers, caregivers and families. If there were no differences between males and females, what would we joke about?

Research shows general learning differences between boys and girls. These findings may or may not be specific to an individual. Remember that the exception makes the rule. So what are these general differences?

Reasoning style is one difference. Boys tend to use deductive or "top-down" reasoning and seem to go from general principles to concrete more quickly than girls. Girls go from the concrete to the abstract faster than boys and are more apt to be able to give examples of a concept.

In language, girls tend toward usable everyday language. Boys prefer coded language, anagrams and jargon. You can grab a boy’s attention by saying, "Put the 493 into the CR T56," which is much more exciting than saying, “Please take out the garbage.”

Girls can be better listeners than boys. In conversation boys may ask more questions and require clear evidence to support a statement. As mothers and teachers, we may misread a boy’s questioning as inattention or insubordination.

Boys tend to need more personal space than girls. When boys take more room at a table for a learning activity, females may construe this as being impolite, rude or out of control.

Boys tend to need more large movement than girls to be able to control impulsive behavior. What may be perceived as "hyperactivity" may be an immediate need for movement.

In group situations, boys tend to be more task-oriented than people oriented. In their book, Raising a Son, Don and Jeanne Elium quote Lew Powers, a 20-year Boy Scout director, as saying boys just want to know three things: “One, who's the boss? Two, what are the rules? And three, are you going to enforce them?”

In group situations, boys require leadership first, then relationships. Girls tend to need leadership built on a relationship.

Boys are more attracted to written text that includes symbols, diagrams and graphs. Boys tend to focus on the imagery of a story, while girls focus on the characters in a story.

Boys tend toward boredom, since they need more movement to stimulate brain function than girls. In school and home settings I’ve witnessed boys hit someone out of nothing but boredom and a need for brain stimulation.

Boys’ groups and teams tend to be structured with defined roles. Think football. Girls tend toward looser organization with less definition of roles. Think lunch. Think shopping.

In working with pre-school and school-age boys, we need to be aware of brain research information to help provide successful learning opportunities. We need to provide boys the following:

1. Opportunities to see the big picture.
2. Introduce abstract ideas first, then go to concrete.
3. Use jargon and specialized language.
4. Allow boys to ask questions to understand instructions or a statement of fact.
5. Provide adequate workspace and clear definition of that space.
6. Give opportunities for large motor activities, at will.
7. Focus on job completion.
8. Include symbols, graphs and maps in learning activities
9. For brain stimulation, allow movement and teach non-disruptive ways to fidget.
10. Have defined roles and tasks in a group setting.

Boys and girls learn differently. Being male or female is not something that should be treated as a disorder. Ritalin is not the answer. The answer for our boys and girls is for enlightened adults to create environments and structure that encompass a wide variety of learning styles and needs.

Next week: The Power of Touch

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Essential Math Skills for Life

As a six-year-old, mom would send me off walking for milk, eggs or bread to the mom-and-pop grocery six blocks away. These shopping errands were big math builders for me. For half a mile I had to keep in mind that a loaf of bread and a carton of eggs were 59 cents and the change would be 41 cents. What a difference 40 years (and change) makes.

As I watch in the stores, our children have few opportunities to see or use money and to develop the math skills that dealing with money creates. I’ve worked with many savvy six-year-olds who did not know the difference between a nickel, dime and quarter.

To them it was just money. These children had no concrete experience of counting, saving or making purchases with cash since checks, debit and credit cards handled most family purchases. For many children under the age of nine, $37.62 is an abstract idea with no concrete, hands-on experience.

Fourth grade seems to be the point where lack of math concepts becomes a stumbling block. Having tutored math through college algebra, I can share a few fundamental concepts that struggling students of all ages have lacked. Understanding place value, the decimal system, the four basic math operations, fractions, along with telling time, are common missing math skills.

Place value and the decimal system are concepts that can be easily shown and understood before the age of six. A lot of math frustration can be prevented with the knowledge that our number system is built on groups of ten items.

We count in units, whether the units are pennies, dollars, minutes or eggs. The unit is the building block of any number system. Calling units “ones” can create confusion for some people trying to understand the difference between numerals and how numbers work in place value.

Our number system, the decimal system, is based on groups of ten starting with the unit. When we have ten units, we can exchange them for a new group containing ten units called “tens.”

Ten units make a ten. Ten tens make a hundred. Ten hundreds make a thousand. When we write a ten, 10, it represents an amount that has one group of tens in the tens’ place and no units in the units’ place.

100 represents one hundred, no tens, and no units. Pennies, dimes and dollars are examples of units, tens and hundreds.

Using money with children can help develop a firm understanding of place value. Ten pennies can be exchanged for a dime. Ten dimes make a dollar. Ten dollars make a ten-dollar bill.

Using money as a manipulative, children at the ages of five, six and seven, can easily add, subtract, multiply and divide three- and four-digit numbers, such as $17.59 + $5.97.

Understanding how to use the four basic math operations in story problems and real-life circumstances is another math obstacle. Knowing there are only four basic math operations-- addition, subtraction, multiplication and division (yes, even in algebra)—ends much confusion.

Again, using money for a hands-on teaching tool helps children see how the math operations work.

Fractions can be a challenge. Measuring with a ruler, measuring with a tape measure and cooking with measuring cups help give fractions real-life meaning. Basic math operations with fractions come easily when the decimal system and place value are understood first by using money.

Telling time on an analog clock (with hands) is an overlooked skill that is important to geometry, the study of angles and finding direction. A private pilot friend told me the hardest part of learning to fly was getting a quick picture in his mind when the instructor said “Plane at your two o’clock.”

Use money to help your pre-schooler become proficient in the important math concepts of the decimal system and place value. (Please note: Use pennies, dimes and dollars first. Introduce nickels, quarters, half dollars and five dollars later.)

Make up money story problems using three- and four-digit numbers and the four math operations. Use measuring cups, rulers and measuring tapes. Have a clock with hands in your kitchen. Make math real and hands-on for your child, and number work will be fun for life.

Next week: How Boys and Girls Learn Differently

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Help Your Child with Brain Gym

“Floyd acts as if he’s missing part of his brain,” my grandmother commented on the behavior of a neighbor. Recent discoveries from neuroscientists let us know that when certain parts of the brain do not communicate effectively, it may appear that someone has “lost” his or her mind.

As a Montessori teacher, I’ve had the privilege of having students for three years in a multi-age classroom. Even with repetitious and consistent instruction, there are children who don’t seem to “get” a skill. Keeping their hands off of other people or other people’s work, sitting quietly through a story or prayer, flushing the toilet and letter and number recognition are only a few examples.

I’d show them, remind them and repeat lessons for years, but still certain pre-school children would lack expected skills and knowledge. I’ve been exasperated, along with parents, about why students didn’t learn what had been taught, retaught and modeled. Then I learned about educational kinesiology at a summer conference.

In Smart Moves, Carla Hannaford, Ph.D. explains that learning occurs not only in the brain. Learning is dependent on movement, not just for the young child who is in a sensitive period for movement, but for all of us.

Hannaford, a neurobiologist and professor of biology at the University of Hawaii, began working with children labeled as learning disabled in 1986. Using a program called Brain Gym, developed by Paul and Gail Dennison, Hannaford obtained amazing results.

One of her students, ten-year old Amy, could not read or speak in full sentences at the beginning of the year. With a daily five minutes of Brain Gym, along with playing soccer at recess, Amy ended the year at grade level in reading and was communicating effectively. Furthermore, every child who was involved with Brain Gym demonstrated increased ability in weak learning areas.

Brain Gym involves simple exercises that re-pattern neural networks in the brain through movement. These neural networks link both sides of the brain to help whole brain function and communication. There are four basic exercises, called PACE for Positive, Active, Clear and Energetic learning, that take about five minutes. Hannaford recommends doing them three times a day.

The four Brain Gym exercises are drinking water, Brain Buttons, Cross Crawl and Hook-Up. Having enough water in our bodies is critical for successful learning. The other exercises involve cross-lateral, fine motor movements that activate and balance muscles on both sides of the body.

Six weeks after I began using Brain Gym in my elementary class of six to nine-year-olds, I observed major changes. Students who had difficulty sitting through a story were now asking for another chapter. Students with poor penmanship had legible writing. One student’s math phobia disappeared, and math became “fun.” The class clown started self-regulating his behavior by doing Brain Gym when he felt himself “get out of control.”

With Brain Gym I saw excitement and confidence as children unconsciously developed a skill that had been difficult. Many organizations, from preschools to corporations, from sports teams to nursing homes, have discovered the benefits of using Brain Gym, by helping people’s brains connect the “missing parts.”

For more information about Brain Gym, visit www.braingym.org.

Next Week: Essential Math Skills for Pre-Schoolers

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net