The Myth of Sharing

Parents, picture this scene: Your folks stop by to visit with two people you don't know, but the people are close to your age. Your dad says, "Give me your car keys, please. John saw your new car, and he wants to take it for a spin. I know you'd want to share. Oh, and Sue wants to wear your earrings, the diamond ones. Now, let's be nice and share."

Yikes! There are some things we don't want to share, and we would be upset if someone suggested we should. Some items are personal, or the risk of damage is too high. We wouldn't want to pay for our wrecked car or lost jewelry. Of course, there are items that we can feel comfortable sharing when there are clear expectations and consequences.

Young children feel the same way about sharing. Before age six (until the first tooth falls out), children are in a developmental stage of self-mastery. Child-initiated activities of the three- to six-year old build concentration and skills through repetition. These activities also have an observable beginning, middle and end. For example, if your child was working on a building project and was asked to share his blocks in the middle of the job, he might express frustration (just as we might if someone took our keys while we were driving).

After the age of six, group work instead of self-mastery becomes the focus of the child's activities. Sharing an activity is now developmentally appropriate and actually aids in the learning process. Before the age of six, the child is focused on developing individual skills and can feel violated if we allow others to use his or her things. You may recall from your growing-up experience or from watching your children interact that many sibling arguments arise from touching, using or borrowing a brother's or sister's personal items.

Having a simple rule can eliminate many of these conflicts. When someone is using an item, others may not touch it unless they ask permission from the user. A "no" answer must be respected. Defining an area for the activity by using a small rug or placemat will help make it visually clear what items are being used. The user is finished with an item when it is back on the shelf, ready for the next person to use it.

Certain toys, such as building blocks, puzzles and board games, can be designated as family toys. Family toys can be kept on low shelves. Family toys are used much like a community shares resources such as a library, pool and parks. We all can't check out the same book at once, but we can take turns and share. We have common ownership with explicit rules and expectations.

Personal toys can be kept in bedrooms. One family uses their locked hall closet to keep toys that are not to be touched by anyone but the owner.

Having family toys also makes it easier to have "no-tears" activities for visiting children. Visitors can choose an activity after they have been told the rules about not touching other's things and putting things away when finished.

Understanding what sharing really means can help us foster a sense of family community with our children. Knowing what is age-appropriate along with clear rules and expectations for usage can help our children avoid conflict and tears.

Rules for Family Toys
1. Choose your activity.
2. Work on a rug or mat. (Define your work activity.)
3. Ask permission to touch anyone's activity.
4. Put your activity away when you're finished.

Next week: Help Your Child with Brain Gym

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
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©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Language Development Is a Critical Stage from Birth to Six

From birth to six, children are in a critical period of language development, when the spoken word develops naturally. Ninety percent of our adult conversational language is in place by the age of six. If a child does not speak by age six, it is improbable that the child will acquire spoken, written or sign language beyond a two-year-old's comprehension level.

We don't have to teach children to walk or talk. Children thrive in an environment that encourages walking and talking during this critical stage of development. In normal development, a child will say his first word around twelve months and by thirty months will talk in sentences. When you are aware of your child's built-in developmental abilities, you can be of invaluable assistance by making sure your child's surroundings meet his developmental needs.

By thirty months of age, language is fully developed in the child. By thirty-six months, a child should be able to clearly speak in full sentences with correct basic syntax (meaning words are spoken in meaningful order), and each sound in a word should be clear and intelligible. Unfortunately, for many children this is not the case. Ear infections, a long illness, separation from parents and physical or environmental challenges can cause language delays. Luckily, the critical period for language acquisition continues for another three years. At thirty-six months analyze your child's spoken language for areas that are weak and not fully developed. Once you recognize areas for language development, you can begin to enrich your child's learning in purposeful ways.

If you see speech difficulties, make sure that your child has no physical problems receiving or communicating information. Your pediatrician should be able to help you determine if vision, hearing or muscle tone in the mouth and tongue are affecting language development. After addressing any physical challenges, you can begin to enrich your child's language environment and target specific skills.

Some of the most common language challenges that young children have are not pronouncing certain sounds clearly; mispronouncing words, such as pasgetti for spaghetti; using a sentence structure that omits certain parts of speech or substituting a word like "thingy" or grunting when they don't know a word.

If your child is having difficulty making certain sounds, singing a simple song, using just one word over and over again is a good exercise. For example, if your child cannot say the "th" sound, sing "thank you" over and over again to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down." Sing the word "with" to work on the ending sound and the word "without" for internal sound practice. Make it fun and silly, and in a few days you will begin to see an improvement in your child's "th" sounds. If your child needs work with multiple sounds, concentrate on one at a time, adding one new sound per week while reviewing the previous ones.

To help with mispronounced words, be sure that everyone (siblings, grandparents and caregivers) speaks to your child using normal clear speech and does not use "baby talk." Some children's mispronounced words are cute and funny, but don't incorporate them into your speech. One of my difficult words to pronounce growing up was "yellow." My four younger siblings naturally mimicked my speech, and they thought that the correct pronunciation for the color of the sun was "lellow." With my mother's patient efforts, we learned to pronounce it correctly. If she only had nickel for every time she had to say "yellow." Remember to use the correct word and no "baby-talk." If it doesn't sound cute on a thirty-year-old, don't let it be cute on a three-year-old.

Omitting pronouns and prepositions is another language challenge. If your child is saying things like, "Me go play," kindly restate the sentence as, "Yes, you are going to play outside." There is no need to force a child to repeat words or sentences after you. If your child sees and hears it the right way, he or she will soon be speaking it correctly.

If you hear your child stumbling on finding the right word, do vocabulary enrichment using cards and simple naming of items in your home. Restate sentences with an appropriate word: "That handle thingy is called an umbrella." Reading out loud to your child every day will also help strengthen vocabulary along with listening skills.

To aid in your child's language development, be aware of how children naturally develop speech. Analyze your child's speaking skills at age three, focusing on enunciation, pronunciation, grammar and vocabulary skills. Keep language rich in your home, and target specific skills. Then relax a little, and let your child's natural ability to create language get to work.

Next week: The Myth of Sharing

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Allowing Opportunities for Movement

A kid’s got to move. Observing a few minutes at a playground will attest to that. You don't see children sitting around if they have the chance to run, jump, climb or skip. Children are in a sensitive period of development for movement from birth to about age five-and-a-half.

Around age four-and-a-half, children have a growth spurt where their legs may grow over an inch per month. During this time, it is difficult for children to sit comfortably. They will squirm or refuse to sit in their chairs at the dinner table. They will appear to wander aimlessly about in their preschool classes. At this time, it is important to allow lots of opportunities for movement such as long walks and other outdoor activities.

Because of this leg growth, children need additional calcium. Many children suffer from leg cramps at night, don't sleep well and end up being very cranky. Be on the lookout during this growth spurt. Children can't tell you about their leg cramps because they don't have the language experience in most cases. Additional calcium supplements, stretching and massage will help children (and parents!) get a good night's sleep and restore pleasant dispositions.

Children love to walk on stone walls, balance beams or lines drawn on the floor. At a playground observe all the different activities children do. Every movement is fulfilling a basic developmental need. Give your child opportunities to move and learn at the same time.

The need for movement, though, should not be a license to run wild in the house, stores or restaurants. Purposeful activity needs to direct children's movement. We need to give activities that engage all the senses of the child and therefore help him or her direct energy for a positive outcome. For example, folding laundry is a purposeful activity. Children can fold laundry and make many trips to put the laundry away. Send them off with one towel to put away, and have them come back and get the next one. It may take twenty trips, but they'll love it, especially when a big pile has disappeared.

You can also incorporate movement while sitting and waiting. The preposition game is a quiet game for a restaurant or doctor's appointment. It's simple to play with two objects. In a restaurant I'll use a napkin and spoon. Ask the child to do things such as: Put the spoon under the napkin. Put the spoon next to the napkin. Put the napkin under the spoon. Put the spoon near the napkin. Put the napkin around the spoon. Switch roles, and let the child give you directions.

In a situation that allows more movement, use a book and table in the same manner. Put the book under the table. Place the book near the table. Change the prepositions using words such as over, above, near, through, far, around and between, and for the more adventuresome, use adjacent, tangent, perpendicular, horizontal, vertical and intersecting. Dig out that old geometry book! This game helps the child learn that certain words (prepositions) show the relationship between two or more objects. Have a good time, and laugh at all the funny relationships you can describe for the objects. Each request is a walk across the room and directs movement in a purposeful manner.

A key to a happy child, and thus a happy parent, is using purposeful activities to allow movement that aids development. Household chores and word games give children purposeful movement. They'll have chances for movement along with learning responsibility for a cheerful home life.

Next week: Language Development Tips

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Three Period Lessons Aid Sensory Development

Between the ages of birth to four-and-a-half, children are in a sensitive period for refining their senses. Children at this age are capable of learning to discern hundreds of qualities of the things around them. Perfect pitch is acquired before the age of six. Too often adults stop giving information after certain basics are mastered.

Take the names of shapes. When a child can identify circle, square and triangle, we tend to stop. Keep going! Show the shapes and names of other figures, such as oval, ellipse, quatrefoil, curvilinear triangle, rectangle, trapezoid, rhombus, quadrilateral, pentagon, hexagon, heptagon, octagon, nonagon and decagon. We can do the same for solid figures: sphere, cube, pyramid, rectangular prism, cone, ellipsoid, ovoid, triangular prism and tetrahedron.

Shapes and figures are just the beginning of the qualities we can show children. Colors, tastes, smells, dimension, materials and sounds are all sensory information that can be explored and named.

To introduce new information, isolating a quality of an object makes it easier to learn. Let's look at introducing the words for sphere, cube and pyramid. In an ideal situation the figures would be made of the same material, be the same color and be on the same-size scale. This would isolate the quality of shape. Using a green five-inch wooden cube, along with a red vinyl beach ball and a one-inch tall white plastic pyramid will not isolate the unique quality of each figure. Instead, other qualities including size, color and material, will be shown with the figure. Isolating one essential quality helps learning occur faster and with less confusion.

A few years ago I took an intensive language course in Spanish. How fast language sounds when you don't understand! Spanish words came at me so quickly, and I had to ask simple questions such as "Is this a green chair?" because I didn't understand which was more important, to get a chair or to get something green.

I sympathize with three-year-olds. Fast and confusing language is directed at our children when so much is new. Isolating a quality took on a new importance for me when I was learning a new language.

To introduce new words, showing three things at a time seems to work well. Two items are not challenging enough, and four can be too many. A Montessori technique is the three-period lesson. It goes like this:
First Period: Introduction
This is a circle. This is a square. This is a triangle.
Second Period: Show Me
Show me the triangle. Show me the square. Show me the circle.
We do many repetitions with the second period of the lesson, using a variety of expressions, such as: Put the circle in my hand. Place the triangle on the table. Carry the square to the chair.
Third Period: The Test
Point to the object and ask: What is this?

If the child knows it, add more information. If not, return to the second period of the lesson.

When working with children, remember that the main objective is to build a loving and trusting relationship. It is not about whether they can give you the right answer, right now. If a child tells you a square is a circle, avoid saying, "No! That is a square!" Be friendly with error. Put your finger near the circle, and then say, "Show me the circle." We want to assure success as we introduce new information to our children. It helps build trust and respect and thus true learning. Also, research shows that we remember new information best if it involves laughter. So have fun!

Sometimes we can do all three periods of the lesson in one session. Other times, it may be weeks between the first and third periods. Take clues from the look in your child's eyes. Three or four minutes per lesson are probably enough. Stop before your child becomes frustrated.

Learning sensory language can help your child cope more easily. If your child is a fussy eater or has temper tantrums, he or she may be on sensory overload. To analyze what triggers the behavior, begin by looking at your child's sensory environment. In the car, for example, music, engine noise, fabric textures, hot buckles, temperature changes, air circulation, smells or the inability to move may put a three-year-old, or any of us, on sensory overload before getting out of the driveway. Instead of kicking the seat and screaming, with sensory language, your child may tell you, "Dad, the air conditioner is blowing into my eyes and freezing my eyeballs!"

Next week: Allowing Opportunities for Movement

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk.

Would you like to send Kids Talk to friends and family or receive Kids Talk e-mail updates in your own inbox? Sign up for FREE here:
http://www.shininglightreading.com/enews.html

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net