Why Teach Two Alphabets When One Will Do?

"What's this word?" my students ask. "Oh, you know it," I reply. "No, I don't." Then I give them a clue. "What if I told you it started with a capital letter?"

For the beginning reader, we add an unnecessary difficulty to learning the letters and their sounds by introducing 52 letters when 26 are all we need. Ninety percent of all printed matter is in lowercase print. It just makes sense to introduce the lowercase letters first. After the child learns all the lowercase letters and their unique sounds, it is usually not difficult for them to learn the capital letters. For most children, you can begin to introduce the capital letters after they are reading three-word phrases.

Reading success is built on a foundation of two skills:
1. Being aware that words are made of individual sounds.
2. Understanding the relationship between letters and sounds.

Reading without understanding these foundational concepts forces the young reader to adopt a coping strategy of symbolizing words, meaning they look at the word and just remember that a certain set of lines means "cat." The young reader does not then develop the decoding skills of knowing that the three letters in cat make three different sounds. Without this knowledge, reading becomes limited to the number of words you can manage to memorize, and this can be visually confusing when trying to memorize the difference between similar looking words such as cat, can, cap, cab, cad, car, etc.

Depending on visual memory for word recognition along with the inability to assign a sound to each letter are the main reasons that the reading level for many adults makes them "functionally illiterate." The National Center for Educational Statistics reported in 1997 in the National Adult Literacy Survey that 40 to 44 million adults in the United States were only able to perform the most routine literacy tasks. Adults at this level could usually locate one piece of information in a sports article or locate the expiration date on a driver's license. They could not locate two pieces of information in a sports article or locate an intersection on a street map. Forty million (40,000,000) adults are unable to read because neither their parents, their teachers nor anybody else made sure that they knew the reading basics. The report also showed that these adults were also in the bottom 20 percent for income.

Assure reading success for your child by introducing only the lowercase letters first. With only 26 symbols to learn, we double the rate of learning success since lowercase letters are used nine times more than capital letters.

Learning the letter/sound relationships is also critical for reading success. Make sure your child knows all the letter sounds for the lowercase letters before you introduce capital letters. It will be easier for your child to be a successful reader by introducing one alphabet at a time‹the lowercase alphabet first.

Next Week: Home Responsibilities Make Us Feel We Belong

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com or P.O. Box 1534, Bentonville, AR 72712.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Want to send Kids Talk to friends and family? E-mail maren@shininglightreading.com.

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

The Danger of Fantasy

Dear Father, hear and bless thy beasts and singing birds; And guard with tenderness small things that have no words.

Perhaps you remember this childhood prayer. For me it is a call to duty. Young children often do not have the words to express themselves. I see our job as adults is to help children find expression for their needs and emotions. It is our job to guard with tenderness these eager, loving and trusting children and guide them to become confident and independent adults.

Until children lose their first tooth around age six, they learn very differently than those of us over the age of six. Our biggest teaching mistakes are made by treating these small children as "little adults," when in fact, they are far from that. One mistake we make is giving our children fantasy when they need something different. Before the age of six, a child has a difficult time perceiving the difference between reality and fantasy because the mind at that point is designed to take in everything as real.

I remember watching Peter Pan on television when I was four years old and believing I could fly off the back of the living room couch. Sound familiar? Reality met fantasy on a hardwood floor, and the goose egg on my forehead was the proof that Peter Pan was fantasy. My disappointment was keen and probably initiated a distrust of television.

Brain research indicates that the violence a child sees on television is taken in by the mind as real. The television violence a child sees before the age of six is undistinguishable to a child's perception from real acts of violence. We need to protect our children from make-believe situations that can harm their impressionable minds.

Young children are absorbing information and their minds are creating personal reality from this information. We can help children tremendously by being "storytellers of the truth." To a young child a detailed account of what we bought at the grocery store is as interesting as anything we could make up in our wildest dreams. The young child has a hunger for knowing the names of things and seeing how things are done. Around age four-and-a half a child has a strong need for vocabulary and can learn over 250 new words per week if given the opportunity. When language enrichment does not occur, children will create a fantasy world with imaginary friends and activities.

As adults we amuse our children with cartoons and shows with singing animals, vegetables and kitchen appliances. What children need, and can't tell us, is "real stuff." Open up your toolbox, and give your child the names for all the tools. Children love to learn the names of the different parts of each tool. With the hammer, show them the handle, the claw and the head. Tell them it is made of steel. This is how we become "storytellers of the truth." With a healthy diet of facts and experiences, your child will develop a mind based in reality that will aid him or her in developing a reasoning adult mind. Look for a visual dictionary next time you're in a bookstore. It is full of the names of various items from toothbrushes to airplanes, with labels for all the parts. It's a better investment for your child¹s learning than a new video.

Three- to six-year-olds do not have the knowledge or experience to know what they need to grow. They are "small things that have no words." Children need adults who will give them a true and realistic picture of the world through meaningful experiences and accurate information.

Next Week: Why Teach Two Alphabets When One Will Do?

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com or P.O. Box 1534, Bentonville, AR 72712.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Want to send Kids Talk to friends and family? E-mail maren@shininglightreading.com.

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Family Meetings

"You want us to have family meetings with our four- and five-year olds?" Our parenting group leaders were explaining how to plan a family meeting. My husband and I were taking an "Active Parenting" course to help us deal with our two daughters' sibling rivalry. We were open to new ideas and techniques. Could a weekly meeting with children under the age of six be productive? This was an interesting idea. We listened.

Our first step was to establish a predictable time each week to have the meetings. We settled on Saturday mornings, when everyone would be fresh. The first meeting, of course, would be short. At a family meeting there are two alternating leadership roles, chairperson and secretary. The chairperson makes sure the meeting runs smoothly and that everyone is heard. The secretary takes the minutes and reads them at the next meeting. My husband and I figured it would be years before our four- and five-year olds would be ready to step into leadership roles.

The meeting agenda consists of a compliment time, reading of the minutes, old business, finances, new business and then ends with a treat. The treat can be a snack, an outing or a game.

We went home and told the girls about the family meeting idea. On Saturday, we started with compliment time with each family member giving everyone a thank-you or an acknowledgement of some accomplishment or strength. The girls found it difficult to give each other compliments, so I made a mental note to help them practice before the next meeting.

We didn't have any minutes to read or old business to discuss at the first meeting. For finances we decided to discuss how we were saving for a summer trip. How much can you discuss with four- and five-year-olds?

On our first agenda, we discussed bedtime routine, how to treat guests in the house and how to include or not include your sister if a friend came over. This took ten minutes. Then we were off to the Farmer's Market, which became our routine for a couple of years.

By the third meeting, our almost six-year-old wanted to have a turn as chairperson and run the meeting. Much to my surprise, she did an admirable job. We kept our weekly agenda on our refrigerator and kept minutes in a spiral notebook. Minutes of the meetings can be very simple, for example:

FAMILY MEETING: January 6, 1995
Chair: Dana
Secretary: Maren


Decisions made:
1. Plan family vacation.
2. Save money for ski trip.
3. Remember to ask permission to use other people's things.

In the beginning our meetings felt a little stiff and formal. In a few weeks they became more natural and relaxed. Here are some recommended ground rules from Active Parenting for your family meetings:
1. Every person has an equal voice. Let everyone's opinions be heard.
2. Everyone may share what he or she thinks and feels about each issue. Ask quiet children for their opinions and avoid expressing disapproval if children share unpleasant feelings.
3. Decisions are made by concensus. Votes are not taken, and majority doesn't rule. Matters are discussed until all are in agreement.
4. All decisions are adhered to until the next meeting. Any complaints about a decision should receive the comment, "Put in on the agenda for the next meeting."
5. Some decision are reserved for parents.

Not everything is up for discussion and a decision. Parents have decisions to make that are theirs alone, for example a job change or move. Family meetings can help the family express thoughts, concerns and feelings about changes made by parents' decisions. Over the years our family meetings grew less frequent and formal as we learned, as a family, how to handle our problems effectively. For more information about Active Parenting and family meetings, go to www.activeparenting.com.

Next Week: The Danger of Fantasy

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com or P.O. Box 1534, Bentonville, AR 72712.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Want to send Kids Talk to friends and family? E-mail maren@shininglightreading.com.

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?

Five-year-old Ricky had difficulty focusing in morning kindergarten session and fell asleep during the afternoon work time. After lunch Ricky would start to act "hyper," push and hit other children on the playground. When Ricky laid down to rest, he'd be asleep in five minutes and have to be woken for three o'clock dismissal. Leaving school, Ricky would cry because he hadn't gotten to be with his friends.

At our October conference I visited with his mother and father about Ricky's naps. "I guess he just needs more sleep right now. I'm sure Ricky will grow out of his naps soon enough," his father told me.

I regretted not finding out more about Ricky's nighttime schedule at our November conference. To most people a five-year-old taking a two- or three-hour nap in the afternoon might not seem like a problem. Ricky was bright and energetic and was becoming more frustrated as his friends did classroom and outdoor activities without him. His classmates were learning to read, and Ricky felt left out of his work groups.

After a few more weeks of this napping routine, I called Ricky's mother. "What time does Ricky go to bed and get up in the morning?" I asked.

"Ricky gets up at six with us, and he's in bed by ten," Ricky's mom told me.

As we continued our conversation, I discovered that Ricky had a television, video player, computer and video games in his bedroom. Most nights, Ricky went to sleep with a movie playing in his room. Ricky had expressed his frustration to his parents of feeling left out and not getting along with the other children. I suggested that we work together to try to adjust Ricky's sleeping schedule so that he would be alert, cheerful and productive at school.

Five-year-olds need between 10 to 13 hours of sleep per day. Ricky was getting between 10 and 11 hours of sleep in a routine that worked for him and his parents. To maximize his time with his parents, Ricky went to bed and got up according to his parent's schedule. If Ricky hadn't expressed a desire to work in the afternoon class or had been more alert during the morning, I might have recommended that he continue to nap. Ricky wasn't happy, and his parents and I agreed to make some changes to help him.

After conferencing with his mother and father, we decided to work on changing his bedtime and wake-up times. We coordinated a weekly schedule where Ricky took half an hour less nap at school and during weekends, and he went to bed half an hour earlier. Each week we added another half hour, so that in a month Ricky was in bed by eight every night, and not napping at school. Ricky's father also removed all the electronic equipment from Ricky's bedroom, so there would be no distractions for a good night's rest.

In a few weeks Ricky was involved in all the classroom activities and was able to control his actions on the playground. Ricky began to read and "catch-up" with his peers. He was excited about school again, and it was wonderful to see his bright eyes and smile every afternoon.

For more information about your child's sleep requirements as well as tips for parents and teachers on solving sleep problems, go to www.sleepforkids.org. Sweet dreams.

Next Week: Family Meetings

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com or P.O. Box 1534, Bentonville, AR 72712.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Want to send Kids Talk to friends and family? E-mail maren@shininglightreading.com.

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net

Helping Children Deal With Their Feelings

"I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own."

So begins the book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (1980, Avon Books, New York). Faber and Mazlish use humor with their parenting and professional experiences to help parents learn effective communication. Helping children deal with their feelings is fundamental in creating a parent/child relationship built on respect. Respect, from the Latin re+spectare, means to look again or to give a second look. When we have mutual respect, we look each other in the eye again, and again and again. Respect begins with a look.

Faber and Mazlish, both students of Dr. Haim Ginott, tell us that there is a direct connection to how kids feel and how they behave. If kids feel right, they'll act right. We can help them feel right by accepting and respecting their feelings.

It can be easy to dismiss our children's feelings. Children can be overly dramatic or use the wrong words to describe their emotions. Taken off-guard, we respond with phrases such as, "You're not hungry. You just ate," "You're not hot. The air conditioner is running," or "Don't say you hate your sister. That's an awful thing to say."

Kids can become confused and angry when adults deny children's feelings. Hearing their feelings dismissed teaches our children not to trust their feelings and keeps them from learning to express them appropriately.

Faber and Mazlish recommend four steps in accepting and respecting our children's feelings:
1. We can listen quietly and attentively.
Turn off the television, radio, cell phone and computer, and give your child your full attention. Listen and refrain from giving advice, judging, asking questions, pitying, psychoanalyzing or taking sides. Just listen.
2. We can acknowledge our children's feelings with just a word.
Using just a word or two, for example‹oh, mmmm, I see‹will help our children feel that we are hearing what they are saying and feeling. I've found nodding with steady eye contact acts as an understanding word.
3. We can give the feeling a name.
"That sounds frustrating." "You must be upset (angry, sad)." "You must feel happy about that."
4. We can give the child his wishes in fantasy.
"I wish you could wear your pajamas to school."

A three-year-old friend of mine was upset and in tears about having to take turns on our tree swing. I listened for a while, then looked Andie in the eye and said, "I think you'd like to swing all day."

Andie nodded through her hiccups.

"It's frustrating to have to take turns with your brothers." Another nod.

"I wish I could build another swing, just for you, so you could swing and swing and swing. I'd write your name on it with pink and silver letters."

Andie wiped her face and gave me a smile. She jumped from her mother's lap and ran to get a ball. Feelings acknowledged. Crisis over. Move on. When we use these four steps, we'll help our children deal with their emotions. We can accept all feelings. Actions intended to harm are what we should not accept or condone. A child might be angry and express hatred or a desire to harm. We could respond with, "I see you're upset with your brother. Use your words to tell him what you want. Remember, no hitting."

Listen so kids will talk. Talk so kids will listen. It's a two-way street, built on respect. Look 'em in the eyes and listen, really listen.

Next Week: Is Your Child Getting Enough Sleep?

Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.

She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is also Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Contact her via e-mail at maren@shininglightreading.com or P.O. Box 1534, Bentonville, AR 72712.

Visit www.shininglightreading.com for more information.

Ask your local newspaper to carry Kids Talk. Call, write or e-mail your local newspaper editor and recommend Kids Talk. Want to send Kids Talk to friends and family? E-mail maren@shininglightreading.com.

©KIDS TALK™
925 N.W. Hoyt #532
Portland, OR 97209
503.274.9788
maren@comcast.net